Earlier this week, (I started this post quite a while ago but couldn’t put everything into words) I woke up quite happily, went about my morning routine, got to an early meeting, and suddenly realized I was flamingly enraged.
Everyone and everything irritated me.
I wasn’t angry at the little things, at the people. The circumstance.
Anger behind my anger.
That’s what had me.
Lurking back there like a freaking chained Chihuahua I’d been trying to ignore.
After a while, you can’t ignore the real reasons.
(and by the way, what horrible person chains up a dog and ignores it in the first place? just saying…it was the only metaphor I had at the moment)
Notice that the word “anger” is in the word “danger”.
Take a minute.
I know its a real hard one to wrap your mind around.
I used to think being angry was the danger.
I used to think “letting go” of my anger meant, noticing the anger and shoving it away as fast as I could manage.
Safe to say, its been a while since I’ve “felt” my feelings.
That’s the danger.
NOT feeling the emotions trying to flow through you.
Anger is telling us something.
Are we listening?
Typically we’re angry because we hurt.
What other emotions am I ignoring?
That wasn’t a fun thing to think on either.
(and wouldn’t it be great if I would take my own advice?)
Figure out why you’re REALLY angry.
It might require more than thinking about it.
Do something creative in an angry manner.
Have you ever seen a toddler get pissed off while holding a crayon/pencil/pen?
They FREAK. OUT.
And suddenly there’s a bunch of angry scribbling going on.
Have you seen a toddler get mad while holding a toy?
They throw things!
They feel their rage. And yeah, it’s freaking rage.
We downplay what we feel, then try to hide it, ignore it. Or the people around us tell us that’s not what we’re feeling…. “No honey, you’re not angry at your brother.” How often do parents tell their children this? YES! I’m bloody mad! That’s what I feel right now! Don’t try to tell me I don’t. We grow up being told that we don’t feel what we feel. That what we feel isn’t okay. We only grow that issue as we grow. Well, some of us. Some of you enlightened people get that healthy vibe real fast.
But eventually, while letting go and feeling that anger, you’re going to notice some things whispering from within.
And that’s when you start to figure things out.
You know where not feeling my anger has gotten me?
Medical issues I now can’t get rid of.
Stress is generated when we try to act as if we’re someone we’re not.
We are EMOTIONAL creatures.
It only becomes a problem – a danger to ourselves – when we try to deny it.
….or you know, when we express it in an inappropriate way…. which is different than denying it to the point that we snap, blow up, have a psychotic break and decide to shoot everyone in sight.
Emotion can do a lot for us.
Or we can ignore it, hide it, deny it and screw ourselves over.
We’re not going to be able to let go of the nastier emotions until we first acknowledge and feel them.