Tag Archives: sadness

The Worth of Souls

(I know I just posted, but get over it, people. I typically forget to post for a week instead of posting 3 times weekly. You’ll survive……still grumpy if you can’t tell)

Today is a painful day.

 

I’d like for everyone to send Brian some love.
Speaking of fuzzy babies, Brian’s dog passed away this week. Buck is an adorable, sweet boy who loves snow and his dad, Brian.

I say “is”, because the only solace I retain is that all my fuzzy babies are in heaven, waiting for me.
I don’t believe a soul can die. We just move somewhere else. And dogs are most certainly the sweetest of souls.

 

What to do when your animal passes?
Cry.
I cried like a psycho when my last two dogs died, and that for once, is not a joke, exaggeration, or me being sarcastic. I got a migraine I cried so hard.
The idea that your dog (or whatever your beloved animal is) died in pain and confused is enough to crush one’s heart.
But at least he died quickly.
And I am so glad that I was there to hold my dog’s hand as he passed.
I will forever look forward to the day I get to see my dogs again.

 

Isn’t it funny that that’s what we do, as humans? Try to look for the “well, at least”s in terrible situations.
At least it was quick.
He still died. He still hurt.
You still hurt. I still hurt.

 

But I believe this is a good thing. I think its the two things we should do when a dog (pet) dies.
1. We cry. We hurt. We rage.
2. We remember. We love. We look forward to reuniting.

 

So let’s all take a moment to remember our pets, the pets of our friends, and send some love Buck and Brian’s way.
Rest in peace, Buck.

Descent Into Slushland

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” – Josh Billings

The last two years have been really shitty for me. As bad as 2016 was, 2017 has just eclipsed it as the shittiest. Four days ago my dog suddenly stopped walking. Seriously, he was fine most of Sunday and in the afternoon he changed. He was in pain. So. Much. Pain. He hurt so much that he didn’t even want to lay down.

We took him to the vet for tests. They had trouble finding the cause. Eventually they said he had arthritis. Buck is ten, and a Lab, of course he has arthritis. They gave him anti-inflammatory medication…which did absolutely nothing. In fact, he got worse. The next day he would stand around panting (even though it wasn’t hot) and later whining non-stop. It broke my heart to…

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Rain to Tears

Something a man said today.

A little story, if you will.

 

He was driving toward a meeting I attend and noticed that the rain water looked ready to spill over.

Immediately, an immense sadness filled him.

The rain turned to tears in his mind.

This rain, it must spill and soak the earth to bring new change, to grow something wonderful.

Our tears must fall.

We use them to water our lives, to spill this pain, so something magnificent can grow from it.

 

We cannot grow until we allow ourselves to feel the pain, the sadness, we sometimes feel.

It can change into something poignant, and from there, beauty.

 

  • December 10, 2016

 

 

Every life is a collection of stories.

This story feels like it became mine, even as it was his.

We absorb and collaborate, with only the mere telling or hearing of a story. We bind them to our souls and feed them for others to hear, to learn from, to become.

 

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Crying is Not a Weakness

A few years ago, a Cherokee medicine woman shared with me the meaning of white roses and tears.

“We never wipe away our tears; we are not ashamed of them.” She said.

On the Trail of Tears, many of our ancestors were shoved and pushed and made to walk, often times until they died. It is said that when their tears touched the ground, a white rose grew. Others say that the white roses grew to give the mothers strength.

Regardless, we never wipe away our tears. We are not ashamed of them. We do not stop ourselves from crying because of sorrow or joy.

Tears are not shame. They are pain, they are joy, struggles and hopes. We are human and we feel. If we do not feel the urge to hide our smiles, why should we feel it necessary to hide our tears?

I mean, when did human emotion become something we’re supposed to be ashamed of? That doesn’t make any sense to me.

(And just in case you’re wondering, there really are white roses growing along the Trail of Tears.)

 

Ironically, I never cry in public. I’d be too embarrassed. Tears are personal to me. But I no longer consider them something to be ashamed of.

Do you?

 

(And don’t get annoying. I’m talking about sincere tears here, not people who are immature and cry over everything or to manipulate others.)

 

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