Tag Archives: poetry

Something Whispers

When I am empty

That is it.

But I always seem

To fill up

Once again

 

Just so you can

Poke holes in me

Poisonous words

Lashing into the

Soul you always

…what word goes here?

 

Shaped into something

Beyond

Recognition

 

Soft thumps

Abrade the inside

Of my rib cage

And something odd

Flitters through

My chest

 

It isn’t life

Its tubing

Left there from

When I hated myself

A little less

 

Electronic beeping

Reminding me

To pretend

I am human

Breathing

Alive

 

I am not

Not today

Not inside this skin

Which itches

And weakens

 

Not inside

This mind

That falls down

So easily

 

Sometimes it seems

So silly

That I ever thought

I could be real

 

To live with grace

To walk without oiled joints

Or charged lights

Behind my eyes

From which everything

Was stolen

 

(by me)

(something whispers)

 

I forgot

I was the one

Behind the mask

Wearing the gloves

Leaving no trace

 

Can anyone see me?

 

I forgot

I was the one

Who let this happen

Who roused from slumber

And did nothing

Who watched from behind

Serpent eyes

And let you die

 

Losing no sleep

Losing no hope

Because I never

Gave myself any

 

Not now

 

Can anyone hear me?

 

I don’t want to remember

The disjointed story

Of who I was

When I bled

 

…when was that?

Was it real?

 

I wonder

If it would hurt less

If I was never human at all

 

Simply a stain on the porcelain

Shadow

Slipping down the time

The sand

Shivering down the hourglass

 

Unnoticed

But watching

Examining

Remembering

The very definition of all

And yet so utterly devoid

 

Knowing all

Understanding none of it

But remembering

Remembering

 

I forgot

How to tell the truth

Or which it was

 

Can you feel me?

 

Not now…

 

I forgot

How to speak

Without a tongue

How to see

Without a spine

 

Can I walk

Knowing the many times

My very breath crawled

 

Is it possible

That I never really forgot

 

Why?

Why do we torture ourselves?

How many of us are there

In here?

This one little body

 

Pieces hiding

Shuffling about

Slipping behind curtains

Fixing smeared mascara

Redressing so no one notices

 

Their stories

Are shuttered up

Dust chokes the sunrises

Moonlight can’t hide

The shadows

 

Our stories

Not to be remembered

Not now…

 

I forgot

How the tip of a fingernail

Could hold so many

Dead skin cells

 

They aren’t all mine

 

(yes they are)

(something whispers)

 

And I deny everything

Black lipstick that doesn’t

Smudge

Or leave

Photos behind

 

Because I can’t remember

How to tell myself

The truth

Of it all

 

When I do

I wonder

Would it be better

To never have lived inside

This damaged structure

So stone like

Easily breakable

 

And no, I wasn’t

Made by accident

Why does everyone ask?

We all clamber around

Waiting for a story to be

Unfolded

It wasn’t an accident

We remember

I shake my head

We know

Our skin

My skin

We feel

 

It’s like they can see

I’m made from

Different coincidences

Kissing beneath the

Atom bomb

 

Waiting for something

To change

Or someone

To notice

The shadows

Etched into my bones.

 

(can anyone see me?)

(no, I don’t think I can)

(something whispers)

 

By Daphne Shadows

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I Wish (3)

I wish

My heart

Knew

Better

 

I wish

I didn’t

Let you

Hurt me

 

But

Your words

Slice at

My heart

Reopening

Wounds

I tried

To put

Away

 

I wish

My heart

Knew

Better

 

Than to

Believe

You

Changed

 

Than to

Believe

You love

Me

For who

I am

 

Than to

Believe

You don’t

Want to

‘Fix me’

 

Like

I am

A broken

Doll

 

Made

For you

To

Dress

Color in

Sit on

Your shelf

 

Look

Pretty

For you

 

Dance

To the

Melody

Of your

Lies

 

Hypnotizing

Me into

Believing

The

Steps

My

Heart

Beat

Asks for

Are

Wrong

 

I wish

My brain

Knew

Better

 

Than to

Tell my

Heart

To

Hush

 

I wish

My

Soul

Felt

Better

 

Than to

Forget

Pretend

Suffocate

 

I’m speaking

To the

Mirror

 

Their

Voices

From

My lips

 

 

By Daphne Shadows

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I Wish (2)

I wish

I could

Reach into

Your chest

 

Hold

Your heart

 

And breathe

Life

Into your

Skin

 

I wish

We

Revered

Hope

Instead of

Money

 

Love

Instead of

Power

 

I wish

My tongue

Told

Stories

With

Answers

Instead of

Questions

 

If I

Used

The

Whispers

Inside

Instead…

 

But I

Don’t

 

I wish

My soul

Grew

Wiser

Quicker

 

I wish

My eyes

Saw more

Than my

Gut

 

Or

At the

Very

Least

 

I wish

I

Listened

 

I wish

I knew

How to

Breathe

Without

Hurting

 

I wish

We all

Spoke

Truth

 

That my

Truth

Didn’t

Cause

More

Pain

 

I wish

I knew

What to

Do with

This

Anger

Inside

 

How to

Part

With

This

Anxiety

This

Doubt

 

The

Silent

One

Assaulting

Us all

Slithering

Through

Our veins

Is

Doubt

Fear

 

I wish

Eloquence

Dripped

From

My lips

Like the

Honey

From

So many

 

That messy

Wasn’t

How I

Learned

 

That

Suffering

Didn’t

Terrify

Me so

 

I wish

My heart

Beat

Spoke

Words

Into my

Mind

 

So I

Could

Understand

How I’d

Hurt it

 

So I

Could

Never

Forget…

 

But I

Cannot

Remember

 

I wish

Sometimes

So deeply

That I

Forget

It’s a wish

 

And then

I forget

It’s there

At all

 

 

By Daphne Shadows

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fighting self

i had a dream

the other night

it helped me understand

part of who i am

 

i ran

i hurt

i now know why

 

when i woke up

i understood

why i hurt myself

with food

art

thoughts

with hate

with arrows i sharpen

aim for my heart

pulling my

skin from muscles

veins from around bones

yanking my soul free

casting it aside

like so little trash

 

i live in a dream state

understanding

trying to figure out

how to change

the truth

i now know

 

 

by Daphne Shadows

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I Wish (1)

I wish

My soul

Spoke

As poignantly

As yours

 

I wish

Colors

Became

Tapestries

In my eyes

As they do

For you

 

I wish

I spoke

With a

Velvet tongue

Like you

 

I wish

The skin

I’ve lived in

Wore so

Poised

As yours does

 

But under

The weight

Of scars

My skin

Has grown

Tougher

Thicker

Too worn

And

Rebuilt

To flesh out

Such lovely

Silk

As yours

 

I wish

I knew

More

Than I do

About life

 

I wish

My fingertips

Brushed

Delicate

Thoughts

Like yours do

 

Slipping

Down

Strands of

Hair

Ever so

Purposefully

Highlighting

Insights

That speak

To my

Bones

Warm

The hollows

Behind

My ribcage

 

Connect

So fully

To my

Soul

 

So beautiful

So vital

My shadow

Weeps

 

I wish

 

But I

Am clumsily

Navigating

Life

 

Plucking

At truth

Before

Falling

Headfirst

Into it

 

Wobbling

On Bambi legs

Running

To learn to

Walk

 

Chest throbbing

With the

Fire

Others

Set Aside

 

I wish

I knew

How to

Suffer Well

 

 

by Daphne Shadows

 

AFTERNOTE

This is not a poem to or about a lover.

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Missing

Life is different than I thought.

It sits somewhere in peace.

Without pain, without numbness, without joy.

And weeps.

 

Or is that love?

Are they the same; life and love?

Is that what this world is missing…

love and life being one

The purpose

The meaning

True Aliveness

being love

real love

 

 

By Daphne Shadows

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I’m Not Done v.2

The Valley

Isn’t a place

You know

 

It is where

We live

Where we

Feel

Where we

know

 

 

Where we

Often

Decide

To

Deny

 

 

The light

Isn’t awaiting

Our creation

 

It exists

Within

Me

 

In

You

In

All

In

Us

 

 

 

By Daphne Shadows

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