Tag Archives: Daphne Shadows

Schooling Woes

I believe schooling woes are a pretty good metaphor for life struggles.

I’m in college for the first time ever.

Due to a death in the family and all the drama and emotional pain that goes with that… I’m two days behind on work.

Basically, three chapters of reading and absorbing (and these are twenty-five-page chapters loaded with things to memorize), three chapters worth of workbook assignments, take fabulous notes, a two-part assignment, and read and absorb notes from the instructor. Due tonight.

I get done two chapters reading and absorbing and all the instructor’s notes. The assignment due isn’t on the third chapter, so I’ll read up on that tomorrow. It will be needed for future assignments but not tonight’s.

I’m doing good… Understand everything. Liking it. Great information. Do the assignment.  Took epic notes.

….Go to do the workbook assignments…

The workbook asks questions based on what’s going to be on tests and future assignments.

I read the workbook questions… NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON. Not what I took notes on or remember. Stuff I will never use and don’t care about.

 

You remember those tests in math in high school where they taught you A+B=C squared and then the test asked you the diameter of an alien’s eyeball if the neighbor’s donkey is three-legged and Sally is twice the age of Kim Kardashian…??? you know, those tests….

 

THAT’S what I just got slammed with. At nine at night.

Assignments due Monday.

What the frickety-frick?!?!

 

 

I think it’s a pretty good metaphor for life.

We think we’re learning what we need to. We think we’re prepared for whatever life decides to throw at us.

*WHAM*

Life smacks you upside the head with a Borderline Personality clown freshly escaped from a 51/50 with a brain made of cotton candy and a Glock down his belt.

 

I think what I’m taking from this is…

Life is about learning. Not getting straight “A”s, (which by the way, is a huge thing for me because I’ve always had straight “A”s).

Life is about discovery and new experiences. Finding options, possibilities, and avenues I never even thought possible.

Life is about letting the unimportant things go. Finding what the important things really are.

Failing my way into succeeding. Letting go of the fear of messing up.

Mistakes are going to happen.

 

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

Albert Einstein

 

 

Drowning in homework is NOT the point.

Do I even see the sunshine in the morning? Feel the breeze on my skin? Enjoy the sound of morning birds? Feel the calm of the early morning stillness?

Do I enjoy the stories my family tells me? Instead of brushing them off or drowning them out so I can study…

Do I really see the beautiful family and friends in my life? My gorgeous, sweet, goofy baby bunny (dog) with his floofy ears and big brown eyes?

Do I hear the laughter of the kids outside? … Or am I too worked up in a frenzy about what I must get done? Must check off the to-do list. Am I rushing through life, not even noticing it?

Do I feel myself becoming someone worthwhile? Or do I score my days by the workload and time spent studying over the actual life lived and knowledge integrated into the living of it?

 

“Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

Gordon B. Hinckley

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Fear 30-Day Vlog Challenge Updates – 7 is Emo, 8 Isn’t Missing, and 9 Vomited

Hi, my lovely crazies!
I’m back with three days worth of vlogging on my fears. Part of my 30-day challenge to expose or do my fears (or both).

I challenge you to do the same! Seriously, it’s amazing the effect it’s having on me. That could also be the effect of my grandfather dying. Or perhaps it’s my Papa dying that got me to do this, which then both changed me. Perhaps the vlog challenge manifested from the grieving process, tracing everything back to the impact he had on me in life and death.

Who bloody knows.

Anywho – Check it out.

…..and then take part in the challenge! Tweet, text, write, record anything, anywhere (twitter, blog, youtube, etc.). Just, don’t go stripping in public or anything like that. Okay? Okay.

 

DAY SEVEN

(I still don’t match)

 

DAY EIGHT

 

 

DAY NINE

 

What do you have to say?

What are you afraid of that you’re also a little excited about possibly doing?

What do you want to try that’s new?

What experiences do you want to gain?

Have you lost a loved one? What did you do? How did you grieve?

What do you wish you would have done different yesterday – that you CAN do different today or tomorrow?

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Day 6: Fear – Stress, Depression, and Hypomania

I am going to stop posting my vlogs every day. Since this is an everyday thing, I’m going to begin posting twice a week, with the newest videos. I don’t want to overload you guys with an email every freaking day during this 30-day challenge. If you want it day to day, subscribe to my youtube channel.

Let me know what you think about this. It’s your inbox.

Plus this gives me room to do my once a week post.

 

The purpose is… what fears are we allowing to hold us back from achieving our dreams, living our lives fully and authentically, or contributing to the lives around us?

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.


 

DAY SIX

 

The stress, the anxiety, the panic attacks… those things I can work toward changing. But hypomania? That’s because I’m bipolar. That’s not something that I can meditate or walk away. And I keep trying to pretend that I don’t have legitimate health issues that I can’t change, and it’s making me miserable.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Anything like this? Anyone have any wisdom to impart?

 

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Day 5: Fear – In a Funk (and Proof)

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY FIVE

 

 

PROOF that I’m letting my day 4 fear work for me.

I don’t match. And I don’t care.

Also, my sister had just woken up from a nap. 😉

(I don’t know what happened… For like two hours in the middle of the day I was so peppy!….. *passes out from exhaustion*)

Okay… tell me something.

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Day 4: Fear – So Attached to this Ridiculous Notion

I am PETRIFIED to match every day.

 

 

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY FOUR

 

PROOF THAT I TOTALLY, DEFINITELY, MOST LIKELY, (I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW) DON’T MATCH……

 

The purpose is… what fears are we allowing to hold us back from achieving our dreams, living our lives fully and authentically, or contributing to the lives around us?

What healthy fears do you have that keep you motivated to work toward being authentic? 

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Day 3: Fear – Afraid My Tomorrow Will Be Just Like My Yesterday

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY THREE

 

 

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.”

Rumi

 

What are you afraid to begin as a ….. *ahem* beginner? 

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Day 2: Fear – Lying by Omission

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY TWO

 

‘Who are you?’ said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ said the Caterpillar sternly. ‘Explain yourself!’

‘I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir’ said Alice, ‘because I’m not myself, you see.’

‘I don’t see,’ said the Caterpillar.

‘I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly,’ Alice replied very politely, ‘for I can’t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.’

‘It isn’t,’ said the Caterpillar.

‘Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,’ said Alice; ‘but when you have to turn into a chrysalis — you will some day, you know — and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you?’

‘Not a bit,’ said the Caterpillar.

Source: http://sabian.org/alice_in_wonderland5.php

 

What are you afraid of today? What fear is holding you back from the greatness in you? Remember, greatness doesn’t have to be large. It can be very small indeed. Yet touch the lives of many, perhaps only one soul, in a very, very large way.


 

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