I don’t talk to people when I’m angry.
I stay in my half of the bedroom, looking obviously angry, and I leave everyone alone. And it is quite apparent I want to be left alone. Not everyone seems to understand that intense anger, hiding in the only space I can call my own, and an angry countenance means I want to be left alone, but they eventually figure it out.
I don’t talk at all when I’m angry.
Because I want to be left alone.
Either that, or I just pretend I’m not angry. And I get really, really depressed. And pretend I’m not depressed.
I don’t feel my feelings. I ignore them.
So today, when I got angry and the anger stayed with me, I decided to actually take part in my own freaking anger challenge (because apparently, I thought my pet ghost was going to take care of that for me….??? because I sure as sugar wasn’t going to do it).
That was a really long way of saying, “hey, watch this youtube video of me telling you what I’m angry about”.
You don’t have to have mental illness to understand. You don’t have to be angry, suffer, or in any other way have experiences like mine, to understand. Humans feel empathy. Not understanding is a choice.
Does anyone else see the irony in me making a 30-day anger challenge, when all I do is stuff my anger?
Does anyone understand this?