Category Archives: Vlog

Mental Illness Kills Resumes

I don’t talk to people when I’m angry.

I stay in my half of the bedroom, looking obviously angry, and I leave everyone alone. And it is quite apparent I want to be left alone. Not everyone seems to understand that intense anger, hiding in the only space I can call my own, and an angry countenance means I want to be left alone, but they eventually figure it out.

I don’t talk at all when I’m angry.

Because I want to be left alone.

 

Either that, or I just pretend I’m not angry. And I get really, really depressed. And pretend I’m not depressed.

I don’t feel my feelings. I ignore them.

So today, when I got angry and the anger stayed with me, I decided to actually take part in my own freaking anger challenge (because apparently, I thought my pet ghost was going to take care of that for me….??? because I sure as sugar wasn’t going to do it).

 

That was a really long way of saying, “hey, watch this youtube video of me telling you what I’m angry about”.

 

 

You don’t have to have mental illness to understand. You don’t have to be angry, suffer, or in any other way have experiences like mine, to understand. Humans feel empathy. Not understanding is a choice.

Does anyone else see the irony in me making a 30-day anger challenge, when all I do is stuff my anger?

Does anyone understand this?

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30 Day Fear Challenge Updates

Ahoy there!

 

Okay, yeah I just said that and it was a little weird but oh well. I’m a little weird and a little random and a whole lot of I don’t know.

Anywho.

Hope your days have been, are going, and continue to be FABULOUS.

 

Here are the next 4 days of my 30-day fear challenge. If you want to know what it’s all about, check out the original post here. Because I am SO not in the explanatory mood today. If you want to stay up to date with my videos as I publish them (I believe I’m currently on day 16), then subscribe to my youtube channel.

 

What fears do you allow to hold you back from the way of life you crave?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fear 30-Day Vlog Challenge Updates – 7 is Emo, 8 Isn’t Missing, and 9 Vomited

Hi, my lovely crazies!
I’m back with three days worth of vlogging on my fears. Part of my 30-day challenge to expose or do my fears (or both).

I challenge you to do the same! Seriously, it’s amazing the effect it’s having on me. That could also be the effect of my grandfather dying. Or perhaps it’s my Papa dying that got me to do this, which then both changed me. Perhaps the vlog challenge manifested from the grieving process, tracing everything back to the impact he had on me in life and death.

Who bloody knows.

Anywho – Check it out.

…..and then take part in the challenge! Tweet, text, write, record anything, anywhere (twitter, blog, youtube, etc.). Just, don’t go stripping in public or anything like that. Okay? Okay.

 

DAY SEVEN

(I still don’t match)

 

DAY EIGHT

 

 

DAY NINE

 

What do you have to say?

What are you afraid of that you’re also a little excited about possibly doing?

What do you want to try that’s new?

What experiences do you want to gain?

Have you lost a loved one? What did you do? How did you grieve?

What do you wish you would have done different yesterday – that you CAN do different today or tomorrow?

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Day 6: Fear – Stress, Depression, and Hypomania

I am going to stop posting my vlogs every day. Since this is an everyday thing, I’m going to begin posting twice a week, with the newest videos. I don’t want to overload you guys with an email every freaking day during this 30-day challenge. If you want it day to day, subscribe to my youtube channel.

Let me know what you think about this. It’s your inbox.

Plus this gives me room to do my once a week post.

 

The purpose is… what fears are we allowing to hold us back from achieving our dreams, living our lives fully and authentically, or contributing to the lives around us?

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.


 

DAY SIX

 

The stress, the anxiety, the panic attacks… those things I can work toward changing. But hypomania? That’s because I’m bipolar. That’s not something that I can meditate or walk away. And I keep trying to pretend that I don’t have legitimate health issues that I can’t change, and it’s making me miserable.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Anything like this? Anyone have any wisdom to impart?

 

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Day 5: Fear – In a Funk (and Proof)

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY FIVE

 

 

PROOF that I’m letting my day 4 fear work for me.

I don’t match. And I don’t care.

Also, my sister had just woken up from a nap. 😉

(I don’t know what happened… For like two hours in the middle of the day I was so peppy!….. *passes out from exhaustion*)

Okay… tell me something.

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Day 4: Fear – So Attached to this Ridiculous Notion

I am PETRIFIED to match every day.

 

 

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY FOUR

 

PROOF THAT I TOTALLY, DEFINITELY, MOST LIKELY, (I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW) DON’T MATCH……

 

The purpose is… what fears are we allowing to hold us back from achieving our dreams, living our lives fully and authentically, or contributing to the lives around us?

What healthy fears do you have that keep you motivated to work toward being authentic? 

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Day 3: Fear – Afraid My Tomorrow Will Be Just Like My Yesterday

This is part of a 30-day challenge where I will record myself telling you something I’m afraid of, something I’m afraid for people to know, or tell you about something that I did that I was afraid to do that day.

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s freeing. To take what you’re afraid of and do it. To expose it. To expose all of who you are (not telling you to flash your neighbors) for people to see.

I feel we live in a world where people are trying to pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and on and on. We put up this fake self so that people think we’re only this small portion of who we really are. So here is all of me.


 

DAY THREE

 

 

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.”

Rumi

 

What are you afraid to begin as a ….. *ahem* beginner? 

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