Category Archives: The Odd Bit

Dear Everyone,

I just realized there is a fairly large amount of notifications from you guys and gals that I have not seen.

….

So if you’ve commented, asked a question, had a great addition – and I haven’t responded,

I am SO SORRY!

I went searching for a certain post and discovered that there were multiple comments I’d never seen… So I checked on my newly fixed laptop and found that I have LOADS of notifications on here that I’ve not been getting.

On the triquetra post from YEARS ago I have tons of comments! (I’m not too certain what I think about that post, I need to re-read it and perhaps do a follow up to it, with sources provided.)

But that’s beside the point.

 

I cannot believe I’ve missed so much awesomeness from you!

I’m so bummed.

So now I must go spelunking to find all the fabulous words you’ve thrown at me.

I think I might also read through some of my older posts and see if I agree with them still.

 

Also, someone called me the “b” word. Glad I missed that comment. 🙄

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The Daphne Shadows Paradox

I’ve been much too hard on myself lately. And I can say that intellectually, but I’m not very good at actually acting on that truth and putting a stop to the beating up of myself. 😉

If you’re doing the same thing – realizing you’re too hard on yourself and need to change – don’t be upset with yourself over that too! Just know that you’re human and we all have things we need to work on.

My digestive disease has gotten progressively worse. I found out there was a giant chunk of information out there discovered by gut doctors who specialize in my thing. Of course, the form of the gut disease I have is the hardest to get rid of. There are two reasons my kind is caused and of course, I have the hardest reason to recover from, as well.

🙄

 

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All of the stuff I need costs loads of monies and I’m currently out of a job. Again.

I’ve tried multiple jobs and each time I end up having to quit because they make my health way worse.

Is there any better fuel for treating oneself terribly than not being able to work? Being able to provide for myself and my dog was the best feeling ever. Now that it’s gone, I find I’m worse about being kind to myself than before I’d ever worked at all.

Other than that, my restless leg syndrome has kept me from sleeping to the point that I began having hallucinations once again. Terrifying. But, at least I know I’m hallucinating.

*shrug*

The migraines, nausea, and anxiety and depression have worsened too. None of the mood stabilizers work. In fact, I never had restless leg syndrome until I took a certain mood stabilizer. I haven’t taken it in almost a year but that’s something people don’t talk about often. Mood stabilizers tear up your health – and once you get something from them, that symptom typically never goes away. Whether you stop taking it or not. I didn’t know that.

No more mood stabilizers for Daphne. Besides, they literally did nothing for my anxiety or depression. Zero change.

 

Through all of this, one of the two hardest parts is not being able to make money. I think it’s the biggest reason I’m so hurtful with myself. 

Despite all of this, I am optimistic. I have my days where it all builds up – can’t eat, starving so I eat something that hurts me, can’t sleep, can’t get rid of the pain, can’t work, can’t support myself, can’t create. My family will ask me if I’m okay and I’ll collapse into a ridiculous amount of hard crying.

Some days it’s hard not to be able to eat, sleep, or do anything but try to find a way out of this Hell. With no luck.

If I wasn’t blessed with a family that cared about me, I don’t know what I would have done by now.

 

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Not being able to create has been one of the hardest things. It’s part of who I am.

Not writing or blogging or doing videos has been so painful in a way I cannot express. And I’ve never been able to get creative in a physical way, creating things with my hands. Because I don’t have the money. And if it isn’t something requires money, I am too bogged down with focusing on trying to survive, that I simply can’t.

There’s this impossible situation I’m living inside. It lives inside of me, physically and in my mind, slinking through the halls and making certain every fiber of my being is focused on despair and failures. Until I see nothing good in myself.

 

The silly part is, I don’t let on to how terrible I feel and how extensively my health messes with me on a daily basis. It’s isolating. It’s isolated me from myself.

 

The past couple of days I’ve been trying to simply accept what’s going on. Surrender to the fact that I can’t control this. Realize I’m not a terrible person for wanting to eat a sandwich. I even want to eat healthily – just can’t digest most stuff.

But what if I stopped being cruel to myself? What if I stopped putting myself down for not getting over my health problems miraculously (gee, that sounds ridiculous now that I’m typing it up)? If I stopped hating myself for not being able to hold down a normal job because of my health?

I’ve never given up.

But some days I do give into feeling defeated and trapped. Recently those days are popping up more and more.

But I’ve never stopped trying. Never stopped searching for the next healthy thing to try.

 

I’ve sincerely had enough of this.

Why should I be angry with myself for being hungry?

I feel I’ve reached a stalemate with self-hate. I can’t quite treat myself in a positive manner but I refuse to act as if any of this is my fault or makes me a bad person, a failure, or weak.

 

I hope whatever your struggles are, knowing others are struggling too brings you some sense of ended isolation. You’re not alone. We’re all struggling with something.

I hope you know change will come. It will come whether we want it to or not. But we can help decide what change that will be.

Don’t isolate. Find friends. Go sit outside with them. Walk around your block and enjoy nature and the fresh air. Write all your feelings out. Find something fun to do and do it. Find whatever is missing in your life by trying everything that looks interesting. Find your purposes and stick to them in a joyful way.

 

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Knowing that I’m struggling isn’t the point of this.

I’ve never given myself much credit when it comes to anything, really. I know there are loads of you who do the same thing. Tearing yourselves down, only focusing on what you “get wrong” or “haven’t done”.

We have to stop doing this.

So I’m going to give myself a compliment. Online, for everyone to see. *cringe*

And I hope you’ll give yourself a compliment in the comment section of this post too.

 

Compliment to myself: Daphne, you are living with immovable objects all over in your life. Things you cannot stop. Things you cannot control. Things and situations that have never let up, not for a moment, always trying to hurt you, to stop you, to defeat you.

They’re not going to win. You’re an unstoppable force.

Fights between immovable objects and unstoppable forces never end in defeat.

I’m already winning by not giving up. Even though nothing gets better. My health only gets worse, in fact. How amazing is it that I haven’t given up? I am not prideful for seeing that.

I’m still here and trying. I haven’t given up. I’m even looking into ways to getting paid for being a creator – you know, what I’m good at and won’t worsen my health. How on earth can I see myself as weak?

Leave a compliment for YOURSELF in the comments section below, would you? You have something great inside you that can never be reached if you squash it with self-cruelty. What compliment can you give yourself?

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Valentine’s Day Weirdness

Hiya!
I’m always curious about holidays and special occasions and where they came from. I always seem to find some pretty strange stuff and though today’s findings are pretty normal (if not sticker shock-inducing), I did find one strange tidbit.
So here are some random facts about Valentine’s Day and what people are doing with their money.

 

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This is how we spend money on Valentine’s Day…

$16.1 BILLION on chocolates
$10.7 BILLION on non-chocolate goodies
and
$6.5 BILLION on jewelry …. and silverware

What’s up with the silverware???

 

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In the Middle Ages, people in romantic relationships would recite poetry to one another.
Handmade valentines showed up in the sixteenth century.
Mass produced cards reared their heads in the nineteenth century.

 

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In 2018 – and this is just February alone, we spent:

$158.5 million were spent importing bouquets of flowers
$92.7 million was spent on roses and buds only

 

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That’s a lot of chocolate and flowers. But why on earth buy silverware on Valentine’s day? Am I missing something?
I know it’s a bit old fashioned, but I love it when people bring home flowers or the oddball little-personalized thing throughout the year, for no reason.
I feel it shows appreciation and love for someone – regardless of what kind of relationship it is.

I hope we can get back to sprinkling Valentine’s Day with some of that genuine spark as well. Instead of just grabbing a card, signing it, and expecting your significant other to throw on lingerie for you, why not try something that shows how much you actually love them? We’re a society filled with underappreciated people. Don’t let your relationship become automated and dry. That’s how they die.

And on that depressing note, I hope you guys and gals had a really nice Valentine’s Day yesterday!
Regardless of whether you’re single or not. It’s a day to celebrate love. And romance is not the only kind of love.

 

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SOURCES
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/2018/valentines.html
https://www.loc.gov/item/today-in-history/february-14/?#
https://www2.census.gov/programs-surveys/sis/resources/valentines-day-ff.pdf

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11 Quotes for Those With Holiday Blues

It happens. For one reason or another, some of us easily get bogged down by one negativity, pain, or bad situation or another. 

So here are a few quotes to hopefully give you some perspective and hope.

 

“Self-care isn’t always manicures, bubble baths, and eating healthy food. Sometimes it’s forcing yourself to get out of bed, take a shower, and participate in life again.”

– Unknown

 

“The moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.”

― Alysia Harris

 

“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”

― Thomas S. Monson

 

“We can only be what we give ourselves the power to be.”

– Native American Proverb

 

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

– Rumi 

 

“Within the chaos, magic is found.”

– Tara Isis Gerris

 

“Sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

– Marilyn Monroe

 

“It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.” 

– Eeyore 

 

“There’s no shame in having to fight every day. If you’re still alive to hear these words… then you are winning your war. You’re here.” 

– Jared Padalecki

 

“Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved.”

– Winnie the Pooh

 

“A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”

– Franz Kafka

 

There is a lot of beauty in yourself and in this world.

Don’t give up on that.

 

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Smile – Create Joy

 

Pick your goals and resolutions wisely. The decisions you make today, tomorrow, and the next day will define who you are next year.

 

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.”

Orison Swett Marden

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Celebrate what you want to see more of.

Tom Peters

 

If you want more joy in your life, create it.

I personally love how Brendon Burchard talks about this. He calls it bringing the joy. Love his energy. Check out his video.

He even gives four ways to create joy in your life and self.

You only need to watch the first 10:45 of the video for our purposes, as the last bit is talking about his services. Which I totally don’t have the money to buy, but if you do, totally keep watching! 😉

 

 

Image is the property of LDS Media Library

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Have Courage, Little Duckling

Ducks appear to be effortlessly still.

Flawlessly gliding from one end of the pond to the other.

Behind the curtains, past what the common observer can see, beneath the water, those ducks’ feet are moving intensely fast. Webbed feet paddling quicker than would be expected compared to the relatively peaceful vision of the fluffy duck above water, floating on the water’s surface.

Beneath the surface, there is no calm. In order to keep moving forward, ducks are in constant motion, unbeknownst to the casual observer.

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Ducklings imprint on the first thing they see upon hatching. Their imprinting can also be modified by who they spend their childhood with.

And when I say anything, I mean it. They’ve been known to imprint of dogs, humans, and random objects.

First thing they see is fair game, human, animal, vegetable, mineral.

Okay, I have no idea if they actually imprint on vegetables or minerals, but it sounded good.

 

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Ducks look like they’re not expending any energy. As if they are just there, capable of being on top of the water without doing anything. Without action, work, without mess.

People are a lot like ducks. Little ducklings, in particular. Regardless of what age.

 

There is an unnumberable amount of character and identity to each person which we cannot see. 

We’re often counseled to treat people kindly because we don’t know what horrible things they’re dealing with in their lives.

I know it sounds trite or cliche. But if you think about it, a lot of the important things in life have become little more than a mockery of its original magnificence. 

You don’t know what’s going on in my life any more than I know what’s going on in your life. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We don’t have to slit our chests open and allow everyone we pass on the street to peer into our everything.

But a little compassion goes a long way. We’d do best not to judge the bigot, the hateful person, the naive child brainwashed and clueless to it.

They all have their stories. They all have their hurts and trials and successes. If they aren’t given a chance to wake up and better themselves, they’ll grow further into blindness and solidify the walls keeping them hard and untouched by others outside their own skin.

 

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We don’t choose how we grow up. As a young child, we can’t choose our nature or nurture, our atmosphere or experiences.

And the parents who “messed us up”? Their parents messed them up. Pain is a family disease, passed on from generation to generation. Ducklings, blind following the blind. No clue that their eyes are duct taped shut.

The only thing we can choose (and this one goes for the young as well as the old) is how we deal with what comes our way. We can choose our temperament. To become open-minded. To listen to others instead of coming up with ways to counter and win over or prove wrong what they’re saying once they’re finished speaking. We can choose to be optimistic, empathetic, courageous, and to never give up. Regardless of what or who life throws at us.

Because believe you me, life is going to throw some nastiness your way, some rock walls slick with the blood of the dead and conquered, that you then have to scale with bare hands. Gun to your head. Do it or die.

Life doesn’t play fair. You can.

That’s what life basically boils down to. A series of small choices every day, feeding each other until they form who we are, who we’re choosing (whether consciously or unconsciously) to become.

 

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We cannot see anything but what’s above water in people’s lives. There is much more happening in the moments and hours and days and years we are not privy to.

If there is a person in your life with a bad attitude or an obvious shrowd of ignorance, keep in mind they’ve probably been raised by someone with similar beliefs. Children are little more than brainwashed at the start. Little ducklings imprinting on whoever they are around and absorbing their beliefs, without realizing they’re doing it.

It takes a while for our brains to fully develop. For nature and nurture, environment and disposition, to allow us to “wake up” and become aware that there are other ways of living, believing, etc.

And if we choose someone unhealthy to be our role model, it becomes even harder to wake up.

This doesn’t have an age limit. Sometimes it takes people well into their fifties to realize that they’ve been living in the same unhealthy cycle of behaviors, habits, conditioned beliefs, and ways of living, that they were brought up in. And often times hated, proclaiming they’d never become their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so on. Denial is a powerful thing. So is imprinting. 

As children, we want to emulate our parents. We cannot outgrow that urge for their acceptance unless we are aware of what we’re doing.

 

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I’m not saying that people cannot outgrow their childhood. We absolutely can. That’s the whole point! But when did we feel safest? When did we feel it was okay to peel back layers of dead skin from around our throat and examine our behaviors and beliefs, and how we got them?

When do we feel it’s safe to analyze our life?

When we feel accepted, either by ourselves or others.

If someone is throwing stones at a person, they’re in defense mode. They’ve got no time to examine themselves. They’re too busy finding fault with their “attacker”, finding ways to destroy said attackers so they’ll be safe.

If we want to create an environment where people can “wake up”, where people can learn to see a little differently, to feel a little more widely, to open their hearts and minds to a wider picture understanding – then we need to be kind.

No one is going to pause in the middle of the battlefield to check to see what their feet are doing beneath the water they don’t even know they’re swimming in. They’re simply going to get on with it the only ways they know how and move forward. For better or for worse.

 

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We can grow, adapt, change. But not if we are choking on hateful backlash. We need to remember our own mistakes. Remember that we’re all human and we all deserve a chance.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to give people a free pass to treat you like their own personal mean girl assistant or doormat.

Having courage is different from beating someone down and standing on their throat.

By all means, put the powerful arrogant and joyfully cruel in their place. Just remember their place isn’t in a coffin, nailed shut while they’re still breathing. They can’t hang themselves with the scales of justice if we do not hand them the rope to do so. Fully hoping they use it to create a ladder upward and out of the mass grave they’re choosing to throw others into before falling victim to themselves.

 

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We’re all ugly little ducklings. Only, we get to choose who we become.

 

Sources

https://poultrykeeper.com/blog/imprinting-ducks-geese/

https://pethelpful.com/birds/Keeping-Pet-Ducks-and-Geese

 

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4 Things I Know to be True

 

Take a vacation in depression. Don’t move in and live there.

 

Life doesn’t have a one size fits all path.

 

Adulting comes with instructions that don’t work.

 

Parenting is like putting together a puzzle with one piece missing.

 

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