Category Archives: The Odd Bit

The Reason My Soul Stopped

I believe there comes a time to look objectively at my life and decide if there are any beliefs, behaviors, projects, relationships, dreams, and/or time spent in any other ways that are doing more harm than good, or simply need to be allowed to die a natural death.

 

 

I have spent 6 years on a story. One which has changed altogether 3 times. One which has brought me much joy and realization, illumination in my own life.

But this story is more closely tied to my uncertainty and shifting life purposes than I was aware. Blair does not know what her story is or how to arrange in her heart all the pieces of her puzzle.

This is because, I do not know these precise things.

I cannot yet tell you Blair’s story. To all those who have read one of her stories, I am ever grateful for your help in revealing a part of my soul to me. But I must admit, you have not met Blair in her fullness.

It is time Blair and I move on together, to further discover our own lives.

It’s time I begin anew.

I will always love Blair. I will tell her story at some future date.

But to do so today would be a sham, a disgrace, a lie.

And there is a difference between perseverance and sheer stubborn denial.

 

So, I must confess, I was wrong. I haven’t lost the urge to write. I’ve lost the desire to try to force something that isn’t ready.

But this is great freaking news!

I am moving on.

 

 

I find I am excited by this new, empty page.

There is a dragon unlike I’ve ever met meandering around in the back of my mind; napping, checking in on zombies, solving mysteries to keep herself from going mad, and eating a lot of peaches.

I’m interested in her, in this strange new feel she brings.

 

In conclusion, I’m eternally grateful that I have not been published.

I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know myself at all. Consequently, my stories were places where I could escape the nastiness of my life. I cram packed it when violence, anger, death, and not much else.

I can no longer be the writer I was before.

I’ve imbued myself with lessons learned and truths identified. I’m glad for these stories, critiques, experiences, and rejections. They give me traction to climb my life’s mountains and the cushion and helmet I will need when I trip, stumble, and almost fall off.

Because let’s be honest, soul eater or dragon, I’m a wobbly individual.

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Do You Forget?

 

Sometimes, we need the reminder.

 

“Beauty surrounds us.”

  • Rumi

 

Kareeva

Kareeva

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300 Million Year Old Dragons

Dragonflies, that is.

I love dragonflies. I won’t get into their symbolism today, but I’d love to in a future post.

 

Dragonflies were here 100 million  years before the dinosaurs. and had up to 2 foot long wingspans. (Their wingspan is now five or six inches.)

THAT would be cool to see. A huge dragonfly flitting by our heads, grabbing a bird out of the air and chomping down on it.

And dragonflies are brutal predators in the insect world.

Check out their jaws…

 

Now imagine that underwater in your pool if they were two feet large.

That’s a nymph dragonfly. They start their lives out as underwater larvae, terrorizing fish and others of their own kind.

Because, oh yeah – dragonflies (whether they’re a nymph or aviators) – are cannibals.

 

Their emergence from their nymph bodies into the gorgeous flying dragonfly is amazing.

I also found a video for this…

 

Creepy and awe inspiring right?

I love it.

 

Years ago, I found a few dragonflies in my backyard and took a zillion photos. You’ll see I use them for the cover photos on my blog above, my twitter account, and Facebook account.

Wee bit obsessed with dragonflies.

Here are some of my favorites. I suggest you click into each of them so as to see the dragonflies up close.

 

Daphne Shadows

This one is pretty zoomed out but I love the warring colors of the trees and the vibrancy of the orange/red dragonfly.

 

Daphne Shadows

I caught the blue one with it’s mouth open.

 

Daphne Shadows

Looking through all of the photos I took, even though I was on the ground below the dragonflies, zooming in with a camera, the dragonflies eyes’ followed my exact location, regardless. Their eyes are always looking at me.

 

Daphne Shadows

 

Daphne Shadows

The multi-colored dragonfly always looks like it was smiling. 🙂

 

Daphne Shadows

 

Daphne Shadows

 

Daphne Shadows

I tend to like the out of focus look, if you couldn’t tell.

 

Daphne Shadows

I like this one because you can see the dragonfly with its mouth only partially open, giving you a better view of how the little guy is put together.

Also, this dragonfly is probably close to the end of his or her life, as it’s wings are torn up. 😦

 

Daphne Shadows

Whereas the orange dragonfly is relatively young, most likely, as it’s wings are in perfect condition.

 

Daphne Shadows

 

Daphne Shadows

 

Beautiful creatures, right?

Do you like dragonflies?

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Replace Hate

Hiya crazies!

How goes it?

It goes well here. Well, kinda well.

 

Anywho…

I teach a Sunday second hour class every other Sunday and thought I’d share something we and the kids did a month ago or so.

If you balk at organized religion, this is more about being human than anything. Or, I should say, humane. Which, if you ask me, is something we seem to lack. But that’s a rant for a different day.

There’s this teacher dude with this awesome “Erase Meanness” thing.

I’m real articulate today.

Dude is here. Check it out. Really. Go.

Now!

 

You back?

Yes, that was Kevin Bacon on his page-thingy.

Okay.

 

I went in a half hour early and wrote negative words on the board. In the center of the board, I wrote “Satan is Hate”. You can re-word this as “replace hate…”

 

I then had the crazies erase a word and replace it with a kind word. In the center, it then read, “Christ is Love”. Again, for a non religious example, you can simply write “with love”.

 

We can all replace hate with love. We can treat each other with respect and kindness.

Not saying that I wouldn’t protect myself or those I love, I’m simply saying we don’t need to be so needlessly, ridiculously, bloody cruel.

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Napping is a Skill

One which I am well practiced at.

 

 

I also like Snoopy, just in case you’re wondering. (Not any of the other Charlie Brown characters, only Snoopy and Woodstock.)

What can I say, Snoopy is a writer and a napper. He also enjoys food and yet never gains any weight.

And you know, he’s a dog.

All around the best qualities.

 

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. Then again, don’t we all. 😉

 

I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (or Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) – CFS (or ME) for short. I sleep a lot.

I love napping.

And its really very healthy. Some places have a rule where you break for lunch and take a nap. Google even has adorable little sleep pods. Though, I’d personally like a wee bit freaking lot more privacy than that, just gotta say.

Napping helps you be more creative, more mentally aware, and capable of performing labors and mental challenges with efficiency and accuracy.

And the writer in me is telling me that ^ sentence could’ve been way more eloquent.

 

Anywho – do you nap?

Why or why not?

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If You Chase Two Rabbits

“If you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one.”

  • old proverb

 

Basically…

If you try to be two people at once, you won’t be a person at all.

If you try to do two major things at once, you won’t accomplish either wholeheartedly.

Sort of like trying to serve two masters at once. Not possible.

 

For example…

I tried to be myself and please the world at the same time.

Didn’t happen.

Either one.

One is completely impossible. The other is completely possible but terribly, insanely, absolutely terrifyingly difficult but simple at the same time.

 

Another example…

You cannot live in the present and the past at the same time.

You cannot live in the present and the future at the same time.

 

Find who you want to become, then plan accordingly.

Do you ever ask yourself what your goals are for your life?

 

Change. Be aware. Be present. Live in the now.

All we have is now.

Tomorrow is not promised.

 

You CAN chase both chocolate and healthy eating, though. Just saying. ;D

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My Number One Pet Peeve

The word fearless.

I cannot stand this word.

I believe it’s used in all the wrong ways. Thrown up on a pedestal and used to signify strength. A characteristic others want to emulate.

I do not.

I believe fearlessness is how people end up dead, maimed, breaking hearts, and destroying individual worth.

 

Fearlessness is foolish, self-centered, ignorant, and quite frankly, clueless.

Fearlessness is the small child, who, having been told the oven is on and not to touch the burner, decides to reach out and touch it regardless, getting burned.

It is the young child in all of us who hasn’t learned what pain is, who jumps off the roof and breaks their arm.

Fearlessness is unthinking.

Fearlessness believes it is untouchable, invulnerable to harm.

If you’re fearless, you must also be unfeeling.

 

 

Courage.

Courage is what we need.

Courage knows fear, intimately. Terror, the horror of the unknown or knowing the pain that’s about to descend.

And still, courage steps forward and does it anyway.

Courage faces its fears.

Courage knows the pain of loss but recognizes that beyond the risks lies the desired result, the success, the rewards.

Courage looks with the heart and mind, the intuition and reality. It weighs intellect with the desire of the heart and makes decisions based on truth.

The courageous soul stalks forward through the darkness, the pain, the fear.

 

Stop requiring fearlessness.

What we need is courage.

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