Daily Archives: April 10, 2017

Doubt. Hesitate. Hope.

A lot of the time I doubt that I have anything positive to bring to the blogging world. Or the world at all. I feel like all I have to talk about are depressing things. That I’ll bring people down. Dampen the mood. That I’m such a sulking hulk of depressing ooze and slobbery emotional muck.

But I’m slowly realizing that that’s not true at all.

It’s the same with the stories I tell. The stories that have come to me since I was a child.

My experiences have been dark and painful, yet I’m filled with hope. My stories aren’t of pain and loss and depressing failure. They’re about pain and loss and survival, hope leading to thriving.

I struggle daily with issues. Things that will never go away, memories that will always haunt. Health issues which will never give me peace. I struggle with anxiety and depression.

But I am not a lost cause.

I am finding peace and harmony, carving out my own love and passion. I’m finding a way to live my own life, building experiences filled with optimism and happiness.

 

 

A lot of the time I hesitate to speak up. To add my voice, my truths, to the world around me.

But the darkness in me is what has given me strength to rise, to fight my way up to the light.

The pain inside me allows peace and happiness to blossom into something glorious and infinite. Because I cry, the realization that my smile is genuine and filled with true joy is so much sweeter. Learning to simply breathe and enjoy my days and nights is a testament to the despair I’ve fought my way out of.

Emotional scars do not brand me. They show me as a survivor. Strong. Capable.

Ready to live.

 

There’s a phrase I’ve heard recently which I love.

“Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Believe in yourself. 😉

 

 

This was a combination of WordPress daily prompts. I combined the first two prompts of March. “Doubt” and “Hesitate”.

I don’t think these things out. I go with what pings in my mind first.

What comes to your mind when you think of “doubt” or “hesitate”?

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Filed under Stream of Consciousness