Follow up to Pregnancy Pet Peeve

From my previous post, some of you probably assume I have a negative thought process toward pregnancy. I kinda realized that after re-reading it.

Oops.

Not at all.

I have a negative thought process toward a male taking a sort of credit for carrying a child inside of them for 9 nine months, suffering and sacrificing in order to carry, support, and help grow a human life.

I have the utmost respect for pregnant women. For women who have given birth.

Yeah, there’s definitely terror in there. As pregnancy terrifies the living shenanigans out of me.

But mostly awe.

Women who go through pregnancy, to me, are amazing. Courageous. Unfathomably strong.

 

she looks beautiful

 

The issues (and the anger aimed at said issues) have nothing to do with pregnancy or motherhood.

My anger is aimed toward the unhealthy forms of pregnancy and motherhood.

The unhealthy (in my opinion) men that claim that they have suffered through child birth, 9 months of Hell, and the after effects it has on women’s bodies and minds.

 

I think I already went on enough about how annoyed I am when men try to act like they have to squeeze an elephant out of a straw. So…

Unhealthy Forms of Pregnancy and Motherhood

If you’re pregnant and you smoke, do drugs, or drink… I’m not trying to judge. But I feel this seething indignation in my gut every time I see it, hear about it, just knowing about it.

There is a helpless life inside you. One who will have a bigger chance of a miserable life once born, if you’re doing these things. You know what sucks? Having terrible health.

Another one that really irks me – is how some couples allow the child to dominate their life afterward. I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty certain “family” includes both parents, not just the child. If you’re a family, the best thing you can do for your child is to show him/her that you love your spouse.

Why?

Because if you neglect your spouse, act as if they come second, act as if they’re unimportant, act as if you’re a freaking slave to your child while not bothering to keep your marriage strong – you’re giving the example to your child of what “love” is. Of what “parenting” is. Of what “marriage” is.

Guess what that munchkin who you love is going to do?

Grow up to have an unsatisfying love life.

Why?

That child never saw you take time out to go on dates.

That child never saw you take time simply for the two of you, acting as if your bond and relationship was important.

That child never saw you act like you were in a loving, strong, equal, relationship. Never saw you fall in love as they weren’t present yet, and never saw you act as if you ever had, once they were.

 

doesn’t she look free?

 

Anywho…

I also have a bit more to add to yesterday’s post, thanks to awesome people who commented.

 

Someone tweeted in to tell me that something else women suffer through during pregnancy is….. they crave dirt.

DIRT! People – pregnant gals want to walk outside, hunker down, and eat dirt!

(she also told me it’s due to a nutrition deficiency)

 

I also remembered the particularly horrific truth of what a C section is. You know, how they cut a woman open, remove her guts, place them in bowls, take the kid out, put her guts back in…. that sounds soooo lovely.

*face of horror*

No thank you.

 

A male commenter on yesterday’s post also commented in on his irritation of how people simply go up to pregnant ladies and touch their bellies. Without their permission. I agree with you, dude.

Yes, the miracle of birth is amazing, lovely, something we want to reach out and touch, share joy in.

What people seem to forget, is that there is a human woman standing there, who that baby bump belongs to! As the commenter (I won’t name him as I don’t know who’s comfortable with what) pointed out, “My belief is that if you didn’t have the right to touch her belly before she was pregnant, you don’t have that right after she is.”

Beautifully said.

 

Just so ya know, I’m not apologizing for yesterday’s post.

I feel I have every right to be peeved when men try to take childbirth as a huge accomplishment away from women and claim it as their own, as well.

Yes, there are lovely men who are there for their women, lovely women who aid, support, and lend a hand. But if you in particular aren’t the one pregnant, don’t say you are.

I simply didn’t want you thinking I hated men or pregnancy. 😉

 

(Also, I hope all the cussing in the videos I posted yesterday didn’t make anyone uncomfortable. I try not to include a lot of cussing but felt the messages behind the videos were important enough.)

 

You’ve got to admit. Seeing an excited couple pick out baby items is so absolutely cool.

 

 

 

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2 Comments

Filed under The Odd Bit

2 responses to “Follow up to Pregnancy Pet Peeve

  1. Pingback: My Number One Pet Peeve | DaphneShadows

  2. Daphne, both your original blog and today’s follow up are beautiful and powerful. This “dude” appreciates your discretion about “his” comment, but I am totally cool if you want to share who said it. Your awareness and knowledge about pregnancy and birth are amazing! You really know stuff, and I am impressed and in awe, even more than usual!
    I would be glad, if you are interested, to share with you about what it was like for me (the joy, fear, and absolute helplessness ) when my two sons were born. In the meantime, take care of yourself and I hope you keep feeling okay.

    Mike

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