I Have Issues but So Do You

Some people don’t like this subject, shy away from it or balk at the idea.

“No, I don’t have issues, everyone is simply different, unique, that’s not bad, not an issue, no one is weird.” They say.

You have issues. I have issues, everyone has issues. YES they make us different and unique and NO it’s nothing to be ashamed of, not something bad.

But YES YOU HAVE ISSUES. Everyone does.


Finding out about the why you want to do something is more important than finding out how.

– Benny Hsu


If I didn’t have issues, I wouldn’t have the pen last name “Shadows” which I get compliments on all the time. Yes, I did just brag. But that’s because I love my pen name. It’s something I created and dammit, I’m gonna be happy about it.

But how does having issues do this for me? If I didn’t have daddy issues, I wouldn’t want my own last name, a name that stands for me, is me. Shadows is me, plain and simple. It doesn’t stand for any of the men who called themselves my father. It’s mine. 100% If I didn’t want issues, I wouldn’t have wanted it.









If I didn’t have issues, I wouldn’t have a quirky/strange/sometimes morbid sense of humor that enables me to make people smile. I’d not have the same temperament or respect for laughter. I wouldn’t place such importance on other human beings, their feelings, their reasonings, their hidden pain.


I wouldn’t love the poignant, celebrate it, for I know it is wondrous and beautiful even when it stays as it is, but can also lead to such happiness.


I would not have a brain-mouth filter. I’d say everything I felt. And heaven have mercy people would run for the hills, hate me, cry, and – ironically, wonder what my issue was. Or they’d just put me in the psyche ward, but whatever. I’d have fun flying in my pretty coat. 😉


I wouldn’t respect myself. At. All. My issues have made me stronger, and I know it. I will not be ashamed of it.


If I didn’t have issues, I wouldn’t be able to understand and befriend and draw inspiration from others who have issues. That’d mean all the awesome friends I have right now? Nope, wouldn’t have befriended them. All the deep, thought provoking books I’ve read? They wouldn’t’ make it through my thick skull, wouldn’t have any real meaning for me.


Your issues? They wouldn’t mean a thing to me.


I wouldn’t like weird music or deranged stories.


I wouldn’t continue to care less if people judge me. I wouldn’t continue to believe judging others isn’t right.


I wouldn’t love thrift stores. I wouldn’t value 50 cents.


If I didn’t have issues, I wouldn’t get pissed off when someone abuses animals. I wouldn’t feed my puppy eggs when I have an egg sandwich. I wouldn’t care.


If I didn’t have issues, I never would have picked up a book to get away from reality and been sucked in. I wouldn’t have fantasized about escaping to another reality with creatures who drink blood and kill with ease. I wouldn’t have become a writer. I never would have found my passion.


stockvault-dramatic-landscape127093If I didn’t have issues, I . Would. Not. Be. Me. I wouldn’t have gone through what I have, tasted of different pains and failures and hatred for self. I wouldn’t have fought to find myself. I wouldn’t continue to figure out why I do the things I do, why I feel the things I do.

We all have issues, we all have personality and emotional weaknesses. We all have things happen to us that give us weaknesses that we’ll never get over, but instead have to live with. But those things make us who we are. How we deal with them, live with them or get over them, let them build us up, change and mold us, strengthen us.

And I’m talking about issues here, not bunnies and rainbows and sweet puppies who eat lollipops and sneeze cotton candy. Uh-uh. I’m talking issues. Real ones. Ones that hurt, ones that scar, ones that make you question everything and hate life and feel lost and wonder what you did to deserve this. Issues hurt, they create truths you’d rather not hear about. But they’re nothing to be ashamed of. Work through them and be who you are. Issues and all.


He who wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill.  Our antagonist is our helper.

-Edmund Burke


I’m not telling you to go shout your character flaws to the masses, only stop being ashamed of them, stop ignoring them. All your weakness can be turned to strengths, or perks, if you will.

Don’t hate your issues or try and wish them away.  Something beautiful will come of your pain. If you let it.


If people didn’t have issues, there wouldn’t be success stories about weight loss or survivors of all kinds of emotional and physical abuse. There wouldn’t be that one author who you read because their stores mean something to you, make you feel better about yourself.

I know I’m probably kicking a dead horse here, but ya’ll know one of my favorite series’ is Anita Blake by Laurell K Hamilton. Do you think she wrote Anita’s character without having issues in her own life?









Sherrilyn Kenyon, a popular paranormal romance author was abused as a child. Do you think she has issues? They’ve made her who she is. And she’s a beautiful person. In one of her blog posts she said,

“You can’t look at anyone and tell what they’ve been through. Ever. The deepest scars are never the ones that mark our skin. They are the ones that mar our souls. Unknown and unseen by everyone, but felt deeply by those of us who bear them and we can never fully escape their wrath.

Like the characters in our hearts, they whisper in our ears as a constant companion. They tell us we’re not good enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. That we don’t deserve our dream. That we’re stupid. Fat. Ugly. Those voices are the hardest thing to let go of. Twice as hard when critics and others, especially those who claim to be well meaning, give an exterior voice to them.

Other people say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. What they never talk about is finding the courage inside you to pursue a dream when it seems like even heaven itself has conspired to keep it from you. When obstacle after obstacle is not only thrown at you, but dropped on top of you with such force that you feel like Wile E. Coyote. But notice, Wile E. never once stopped pursuing the Road Runner. No matter how badly squashed he was, he always dusted himself off and kept going after his dream.”

If you don’t believe your issues help you, read the rest of her article, here.

I don’t read any of her books, but she is an amazing woman.


“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

– Kalil Gibran


We all have issues. Get over it and start loving it.


What about you would be different (for the worse) if you didn’t have the issues specific to you?



Filed under Stream of Consciousness

8 responses to “I Have Issues but So Do You

  1. Jae

    You’re awesome girl! This is exactly the right attitude to have. We get this “grass is greener” mentality, but we never really escape issues. They’ll bother us in one form or another. Besides, like your quotes said, it strengthens you and makes you a more interesting person.

  2. Excellent post. Perfect people would be quite boring.

  3. Kate is

    I have lots and lots of issues but they make me and I embrace them now and even flourish in them. For a long time a man tried to change them and blamed me for them, but I’ve come out into the light and realised my issues are great. Brilliant post.

  4. “We all have issues. Get over it and start loving it.”

    Yes, Daphne! Sherrilyn Kenyon is my sister’s favorite author. I know all about her issues. She’s a strong, and amazing person. It isn’t our issues that define us, but, rather, how we deal with them that does. I try to remember that as I live my life. Thanks for the beautiful reminder.

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