My Issue with some Romance Novels

I’m not too sure I can clarify this because it’s steeped in emotional response and growling noises. And maybe some duct tape because I overdid it with the knife.
Just kidding.

Why am I not big on novels that are mainly romance novels?
In a short, one sentence answer: Due to the way women are treated by men.
It makes me want to stab things. Preferably male things.

 

I'm female, I'm an idiot!

I’m female, I’m an idiot!

In much longer than one sentence, this is why I do not like most romance novels (keep in mind that there are romance novels I like. I think):

I don’t find a man bullying his way into a woman’s life because he decides she needs his help as “romantic”.
And then they magically fall in love even though he’s treating her like a uselss child that can’t fight, defend, or think for itself. And I say ‘it’ because apparently she’s not a human being with human rights, thoughts or justifiable emotional responses.
But hey, he is so hot that her knees buckle, she melts, she gets instantly turned on to the extreme level of all levels – every single time that she sees/glances at/think about him, so that’s really all that matters. Clear indicator that they’re meant for one another. That and the fact that she can’t think straight when she’s in his presence.

 

Such a healthy relationship, totally based on mutual respect. Because real love equals submissive woman being bullied by a caveman with good looks, who knows how to handle every situation, takes command of everything and never had an emotional crack or vulnerability in his life. And if he does now, it’s all her fault and it’s definitely a bad thing.

 

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Emotions = bad, weak.
Women = too emotional. 
Everything they say can be written down to stupid female hormones. She doesn’t actually mean it. And if she does, she doesn’t know any better because she’s a silly emotional female.

 

And do you notice that most novels where the female main character is both strong and feminine – not losing the fact that she is a woman while still being intelligent and/or sturdy – are written by men? Women: what’s up with you? Why are you keeping this unrealistic and abusive crap up in your novels? Even the title reflects the woman as the object and the man the main character of the relationship.

 

Women are paraded out as strong and tough yet on the inside they are frightened and weak. And the man is strong, commanding, and an emotional bulldozer who never falters. So he discovers her vulnerability and has to protect her. Because she’s incapable of doing so herself on any level.

 

Man – uber strong, knows what’s going on, level headed, judgment not clouded by emotions, makes all decisions because he is wise and knows everything. Including what her decisions should be.

Woman – an idiot. Can’t make decisions. Needs to stay out of the bad guy situations because she doesn’t have male anatomy. Clearly this means she’s incapable of taking care of herself in any way.

 

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And I can’t stand how the man makes a big deal in some explosive scene, going on about how the woman is helpless and an idiot who can’t make decisions for herself. And even though it makes her angry – they never talk about this. And the chick subtly ignores and then becomes okay with this. WHAT?! Three pages ago she was fuming and rightly so, thinking straight and seeing it for the misogynistic crap it is. Next she’s all gooey and he’s saving her and she loves him. 
Or – and this one really doesn’t make sense – after the explosive caveman scene of her helpless, him protector/taking all your rights as a human being away, she saves the day and they still go along with the ideal that he’s the strong one. And she is not.
*stabbity stab stab stab*

 

This is all I see when I read a romance novel. I don’t want to only see this. I really would like to find romance novels that don’t spread this bad relationship brainwashing. I go into it thinking it sounds good and I might like this one. But nope. Still the same thing. 
And just so you know, I only pick up romances when they include a plot other than the romance. You know, like some mysterious illness making resident were-creatures freak out and kill random people and the main peeps must find out what’s wrong and fix it. So I am not setting myself up for failure by reading a straight romance. But still – I end up grrrrr!

 

I think the only romance I read that didn’t have this misogynistic undertone (or explosive in your face misogyny) was a young adult novel by Melissa Marr that I read like seven years ago. Major props to this chick.

And to prove that I’m not only seeing what I want to see – I did read a paranormal romance recently that I liked. The female was weak and helpless. The male was strong and in the know on almost every subject. The few pages of the whole “male, lots of sex = awesome / female, sex at all, =whore she better not have” issue showed up because the novel was set in the past but I ignored it. Because it was the time period and they didn’t bring it up more than once. I liked the book, I still have it. And it was very romancey.

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I find that most people don’t agree with my assessment of romance novels. Most chicks I ask love them.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s the whole “ignore the small issues even though they are subtly brainwashing everyone into thinking it is right and should not be protested” thing. Because I’m just over reacting. The men should always protect women by taking away their choices and deciding for them that they are weak and need protecting. A.k.a. bullying.
Hand me that knife please.

 

As a side note, I am not against romance. At all. Or love or being vulnerable, sweet, mushy or emotional. I’m just against it being treated as if its weakness or inferior.

But that’s the beauty of stories – they’re extremely subjective. What I cannot stand, someone else may love. And there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s why they make vanilla and chocolate ice cream. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.
But you were asking, so there’s my reason. ;)

*stabity stab*

 

Do you like romance novels? Does this issue bother you or is it pretty shrug worthy to you? Is there something else that bothers you or that you particularly love about romance novels?
Any book recommendations where women aren’t treated this way?

Don’t believe I’m being fair toward male/female roles and the way society treats it? Read this.

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The Turn

Maybe I’m just dreaming.

There’s nothing left at all.

And every lie you’re telling

Helped me down to fall

 

I cannot say you pushed me

I know I made my choice

But really when you’re yelling

I cannot hear my voice

 

And so I’ll push back harder

Wait until I bleed

To rise from the rubble

Is all I’ll ever need

 

I’ve always known the truth

I’ve seen so many burn

And for my resurrection

I’ll watch you fall and turn

 

I know I shouldn’t watch

As you choke on the rope

But I’ve struggled there myself

That yours gives me hope

 

For every time I flailed

I knew there on the floor

Was your delicate form and hand

Holding me there once more

 

By Daphne Shadows

 

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Filed under Lyrical

The Story

You know, reading a really good book always gets me excited to write all over again. Like reinventing the wheel every few days, if the book was a good one.

The book I just finished wasn’t amazing, didn’t blow me out of the water fantabulous. But it was good, really good.

And that’s just the thing – now isn’t it?

That’s why we do this thing. Writing.

 

Regardless of the rewriting and critiquing and cringing when people tell you that your book has some major issues and you’re red with anger or green with vomit faced embarrassment. The burn of rejection when another literary agent doesn’t love your story. It rips your heart out and spins your head in twenty different directions. But you keep writing, rewriting, sending to beta readers, off for critiques and querying agents. It’s all because the story is swarming about in your head and it can’t be ignored. The characters – they’re people. They’re real. They live, they breathe. They have something to tell you, to show you. Something that means something to you.

And it’s beautiful and tragic and hideous and amazing all at once.

 

It’s nothing but a book to some people. Just a book. Ink and paper and binding and words strung into sentences that have no value other than the press bought to print it.

But to us – to me – the story is everything. It is who I am. All the stories living inside me. Taking flight with wings of night and scales and the bite of fanged smiles. The slow creep of cold, watchful morning, while the mist clears and the life blinks into blurred eyes and the silent things continue to creep away. Out of sight.

But mostly, the burn of life. Of poignancy and love, pain and struggle and fighting when no one else will. Living.

Muriel Rukeyser said, “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.”

I tend to agree.

 

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If I Had a Title

I don’t remember where it came from or how I got on the subject but I was wondering what my title would be if I had a title. You know, like a noble person. Or a serial killer. And then I was like, um, I already have multiple. Duh. See here.

 

When I was younger: Paper Shredder

Oh yeah. I shredded paper for the sheer love of it. That and I had some anger issues (because I totally don’t now *rolls eyes*). I shredded paper that didn’t even need shredding. I know, wasteful, but it was better than shredding a human body. With my teeth. Just saying.

Oh, oh – and just two days ago I shredded a stack of WIP papers because I don’t have a paper shredder. Besides, they can put paper shredder papers back together if they’re dedicated enough. When you shred it by hand randomly? Harder to put back together. Not that anyone would want to put mine back together, but….

 

The shredding of the paper. It is fun. (this is Lucky by the way)

The shredding of the paper. It is fun. (this is Lucky by the way)

 

Great Food Person

I am the Great Food Person. I feed the mallows, the mum and the Lucky. Fear me. I will poison your food. Kidding! I have to eat it too…

 

OCD Daph and Germaphobe Daph

Heh. Yeah. OCD – I don’t actually have it. But I do like for everything to be neat, nice and precise. Where it should be. No excuses. If you had the energy and time to move it, you have the energy and time to move it back. Not that my OCD has imprinted on anyone else, but…*glare* Germaphobe – I drive my family crazy with this one, but I refuse to eat off of or drink out of food/drinks that anyone else has.

 

Fuzz Picker Upper

Lucky loves taking the stuffing out of stuffed animals and spreading it all throughout the house. That explains that. Following him around the living room and hallway picking up fuzz as I go.

I remember when he was a puppy-puppy, the ears off his blue elephant stuffed animal mysteriously disappeared. Come five am he drags me outside and starts puking up huge chunks of something. I’m freaking out thinking he’s vomiting up insides and then I pick through his puke (dog owner, this happens) and what do I find? Two plushy ears. Yeah. We watch him closely with his ginormous caterpillar stuffed animal now.

 

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This is a larger elephant. He didn’t try eating it’s ears. Thank heaven.

 

Writer

To be quite boring with that title. Yep. Writer. I guess I could get more inventive with that. Psycho Writer. Choco-Writer. Zombie-Psycho-Choco-Writer.

I dunno.

 

I f I was Native American, it’d be:

….Actually I am Native American, so let me rewrite that. If I had a Native title, it would be…

 

Non-Affected by Adorable Faces

True story. Puppy dog eyes don’t work on me. Not from the puppy dog or the mallows. Yes, you are adorable of all adorableness, but no, you may not use the duct tape on the neighbor.

 

Walks into Walls

Sad but true. Being a zombie can be dangerous. Especially for walls.

Ha – and my last name has Wall in it. Ha ha! Okay… moving on.

 

Walls. I walk into these.

Walls. I walk into these.

 

Trips over Dog

Self explanatory. And I hate it when I do that! I feel so bad. Even though I just broke my face, elbows, knees and back, I’m just hoping he doesn’t hate my guts.

 

Wisher of Doings

Okay, this one is bad. There are so many things I wish I could do, could start, could be. But I just keep on wishing.

 

Talks in Sleep

Yep. A lot.

 

Laughs in Sleep

Amazing feat. Especially since I don’t wake up.

 

Sings in Sleep

Yes – I really do this! Apparently (since it’s not like I can hear myself when I’m unconscious) I sing in my sleep. And it doesn’t wake me up. Strangest thing ever!

 

Hater of the Talking on the Phone

Also self-explanatory. I will text and not be annoyed. Talking on the phone? I loathe it. You better have a good, amazing reason for calling me. Or I might stab you. Through the phone. Because that is the level of my grrrr.

 

This + Me Talking =

This + Me Talking =

War!

War!

 

 

Pterodactyl Swing

When in my freshman year of high school, I attempted a golf team residency (STOP LAUGHING!), I had a problem with my swing. When I hadn’t practiced for a while, we’d laugh and say it looked like a drunk pterodactyl who was trying to swing a golf club. Yeah.

 

Oh, oh, and also – not a title, but I told someone I’d explain this – when I was golfing once, I’d had a horrible run and was on the last hole. Close to the green, there was a group of geese, carrying on and making noise. I hit the ball – best hit of the entire day – and hit a goose in the head. It’s wings flailed like some comic book strip character and it got up and warbled away eventually. It was totally fine but the whole scene was hilarious. It was probably one of those things that you had to be there for it to be funny, but yeah.

I’ve also been attacked by a bumblebee on the green and no one saw. Even though there were three people and a teacher standing there with me. I was running around and trying to get it away from my face, yelling and they missed the whole thing. Brain damage anyone? They were three feet from me!

So dear golfing people, I’m not big on golfing.

 

Pterodactyl right here.

Pterodactyl right here.

 

Anywho – there are so many titles I could come up with, but that would take forever. Although I’m sure that as soon as I publish this post I will think of like five titles that would fit me way better.

What would your title be if you had one? Or do you already have one (many)?

Why is your title what it is?

(wow that grammar right there made my eyes bleed)

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To My Followers -

So, there are a few things you guys and gals should be aware of and I just realized there’s no way for you to know unless I tell you. Unless you’re psychic. In which case – GET AWAY FROM ME!

 

ONE – I suck at responding quickly to comments on my posts.

You guys take the time to comment and it takes me anywhere from one day to two weeks to respond. NOT COOL.

And what’s worse – you have no idea that I’ve read and loved your comment. Because I do. I read the comments but I don’t respond right then. Normally because I’ve just written a post, searched for the right pictures and posted it. And have now moved onto the next thing I need to get done.

But I HAVE read your comments and you should know I am VERY appreciative. And I’ll try to respond sooner. Just know that I will eventually respond.

Does this annoy you?

 

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I’m listening! You just don’t know I’m there…..

 

TWO – I’ve had people comment that they’d like to hear more about me on my blog. My response is normally, “don’t I already talk too much about myself?”

So what would you guys like to know? Not making any promises, but what on earth would you want to know about me?

 

THREE – I’ve had quite a few requests on what to post as well, and I love it. I know there is a standing request for me to do a post on the messed up ideals surrounding the pentagram – but I only remember this every time someone comments on my triquetra post.

Soooo… I wrote a sticky note finally. The other requests I’ve received lately I’ve researched and posted within the same month, so I didn’t forget.

And it got me thinking, are there others out there who want me to post on something specific? Anything that interests you that I joked about doing a post on but you really would want info or more blabbering on about? Or something that has to do with something I’ve posted and you’d like a more in depth focus on that?

Again – no promises, if I’m not interested, it ain’t happening. But I won’t be mean. Promise. ;)

 

This fruit is in the shape of a pentagram - don't eat it! You might get possessed.  O.o Pentagram hysteria. Annoying.

This fruit is in the shape of a pentagram – don’t eat it! You might get possessed.
O.o Pentagram hysteria. Annoying.

 

FOUR – I am no longer using wordpress to save drafts of posts. Instead, I’m going to keep them written up in a word document and just copy and paste into wordpress when I want to publish a post. Because like any other form of technology and all its variables, it tends to malfunction now and again. Twice now I have clicked ‘trash’ only to click in later and realize that the post I just deleted was posted! The first time it happened I figured it was my bad and I was remembering wrong. The second time, not so much. I remember deleting it.

Like the post entitled, “Do Your Writerly Things and Inspirations Reflect You”. Yeah. That had TONS of pictures in it which were there simply to remind me what I was talking about. It was half a post idea with notes. Not a post to be published. And even though I deleted it off my blog when I realized it had posted, there are tons of people who still got it in their emails and read it.

Grrrr. So, no more saving here. I will be using word to save. So, I must apologize for the appearing and then disappearing posts over the past couple of months. I think it may have actually happened more than twice. But I still love wordpress. Technology isn’t foolproof.

 

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My delete button wasn’t working.

 

FIVE – When I do a “part one” and don’t post on the “part two”. Sometimes it takes me forever to write the second part. Sometimes I have things I want to post more. Sometimes I get bored with the part two idea and don’t have the gusto to write it up.

Be patient. Normally, if I’m no longer going to write it up, I’ll let you know.

Bloggers – do you do this?

 

SIX – I stopped doing a specific series of posts. I started doing them about a year ago. Does anyone know what I’m talking about, and do you want me to keep going?

 

SEVEN – Thanks, by the way, for following along with my random blog.

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How Do You Read Books? And Where is Dr. Seuss?

People do practically everything differently. Except things like eating on a daily basis and sleeping… yeah, that’s kind of needed/required regardless of personal opinion.

But for things like taste in food, how hard your mattress is or how you read a book – there are variables. Sooooo, I bring to your attention the question of the day. Here, on this blog anyway.

How do you read a book?

 

Do you bend/crease the binding of your book?

When I read a book, it ends up looking like an accordion. I’ve found that this annoys some people. But honestly I don’t know how they read the freaking book without creasing it open. That drives me insane. And we all know I’m already insane enough.

A few weeks ago, I returned some books to a used bookstore, yet she wouldn’t take them because the binding looked like I’d creased it. Because I had. Because I’d read the book. And yet, at our old used bookstore, almost all the books on the shelves looked like mine when I’m done reading them.

So I have no clue if it’s a 50/50 split thing, but apparently its considered “trashing” a book to some people.

Do you do this? Do you think its trashing the book?

See? Accordions.

See? Accordions.

 

The all-popular book smell.

Apparently this is a thing. I had no idea. I don’t go around sniffing books or really thinking about it at all. But I do love the new book smell. Kind of like cut grass or new paint or McDonalds.

Wait…off subject.

I can just imagine myself walking through Barnes and Noble, picking books off the shelves, opening them and sniffing them for fun. Like tasting wine or something. Moving on.

The used books? I don’t sniff those. It gives me bad mental images.

Do you sniff books?

Wow, it felt weird typing that.

 

Do you dog ear pages?

I don’t dog ear pages to mark where I’m at in a book. I use a bookmarker. Always.

I never bend the corner of the pages unless I want to mark some specific philosophical or disgusting things that I want to remember. NOT to mark my page. Ever. Its like a sin to me. Painful.

Poor little page, all stiff and neat and doing its job and WHAM!

I use a bookmarker.

Do you dog ear pages? Why?

 

Marking of the pages.

I have specific bookmarkers that I like. I think there are five that I use at once. In the novel I’m reading, books for research, books for studying the craft. A few of them are really old but I don’t abuse them, so they’ve survived. A few are new. I think I only chose one of them myself, but yeah. Love ‘em.

I would not use a random scrap of paper. I didn’t even think this was possible. Or conceivable. But what did my eyes pick up on when I looked at, um, other people – even the ones in my house? Receipts, sticky notes, scraps of paper.

The horror!

What respecting book reading individual sticks a scrap of grimy paper in there? Poor book. It’s going to need counseling.

Just kidding, it doesn’t bother me. But I do find it a little odd.

Do you use bookmarkers or paper coffee holders to mark your place while reading?

Bookmarker required.

Bookmarker required for the Daphne.

 

Audio, E or Touchable?

I never listen to books. I always read them. In print. On physical paper from inside the physical book which I can hold in my hands and turn actual pages.

I have nothing against e books or audio books. I just don’t prefer them. At all.

As far as audio books go – what if the reader’s voice annoyed me? And it’s easier for me to comprehend what’s going on if I can see the words as I’m reading. I’ve always been that way. So, not my cup of tea.

E books kind of annoy me. Not the fact that they exist, not the fact that they save trees (which, don’t even get me started on that because if people PLANTED a tree every time they CUT one down, we wouldn’t have this issue, now would we – oh lazy individuals who would rather complain instead of actually DOING something), and certainly not the fact that they’re cheaper.

What annoys me is that people are now threatening to get rid of physical books because THEY prefer eBooks.

Okay. Um. I like chocolate better than vanilla. So starting next month. NO MORE VANILLA EVER AND IF YOU COMPLAIN I WILL SLOWLY CUT YOUR HEAD OFF WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND YOU WILL ENJOY IT OR I’LL CUT SLOWER.

Yeah. So if you like eBooks or audio books for physical books – awesome! Just keeping reading. I don’t actually mind what you do. But me? I like me my paperback books. ;)

Which do you prefer?

 

Book cleanliness vs. book trashiness.

I do not get them dirty. I do not rip pages, bend the cover or in any other way harm my book. Nope. Not happening.

Some people honestly don’t care. Like, it doesn’t matter to them. They don’t think of it as battering their book into oblivion. It’s just a coffee stain. The words are the same. The meaning still intact. The story didn’t go anywhere.

Me?

*twitch*

I’m not ridiculous about it but I’m not careless about it either.

And another thing – peoples’ opinions of what a trashed book is differ as well. One person considers ripped covers okay, the next flips like you just yanked their newborn’s hands off.

Which side are you on – clean or trashy?

(I’m talking about books here people. *glare*)

 

They may be accordions...

They may be accordions…

but they are otherwise unharmed.

but books I read are otherwise unharmed.

 

Quick, slow or in between?

It depends on the book, how much I’m liking it and my current mood/frame of mind when it comes to how fast I read it. It also depends on where I am and who is around me.

Remember when you were young and you thought reading a book in a day was the biggest achievement ever, made you like SOOO cool? Yeah, that’s so weird. Children are psychopaths. Anyway.

It also depends on what’s going on in my life. If I have a commitment, sorry but that book is not getting in the way of an appointment. Or cake. Especially if it’s chocolate.

Some people read slowly on purpose, to absorb or savor or remember the book well. Other speed through it because they must know what happens next, right now or die. I know I’ve done both.

What do you do or does it matter (do you even think about it)?

 

Where is Dr. Seuss?

Because he’d be able to make this rhyme.

I read in a chair, on the bed, at the table, while I’m waiting. I’ll read a book almost anywhere. The floor!

Except for the more ridiculous places and in the more outrageous situations. ;) Obviously. But then I think about some human beings and realize nothing is obvious. So yeah. I wouldn’t read a book if aliens were invading or my foot was melting or the crowned queen of England was talking to me. But really, why would she be talking to me?

Where do you normally read?

The funny thing is, I never thought about this stuff much until I couldn’t turn that book in at the used bookstore. It made me wonder about all your bookish ways, oh other people readers.

 

So tell me – how do you read books? Mwahahahahahahahahahaha… Anything you find funny, odd, weird or just plain unacceptable?

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Would You Stay With a Cheater?

There is one opinion held by many people, widely accepted, which makes me want to blow people’s houses up. Okay, not really, but I swear I turned green a few times.

This opinion hurts people, worse than they’ve already been hurt.

 

What is this opinion?

When someone cheats on you, someone you love, someone you’re in a serious relationship with, the consensus is this;

“You should stay. Don’t be weak. Work it out. Leaving is the easy way out.”

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!

*turns green* *fumes* *smashes things*

 

Um, no.

Leaving is not weakness.

Staying is the easy way out.

Why?

 

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Reasons Staying is the Easy Way Out

 

ONE

Your relationship will never be the same again. Period. End of story. You KNOW this already, but you’re denying it to yourself and nodding along as your friends tell you things will work themselves out, or you guys can work this out.

Your gut is telling you that this is wrong. But the world is telling you not to ‘give up on him/her’, not to ‘be so weak’, ‘it happens’, etc.

Have the strength to believe in yourself, your feelings, your needs and wants.

 

TWO

If they cheated on you once, they will most likely do it again. I know, I know, everyone says this.

But think about it. Why did he/she cheat on you? It normally isn’t a big issue, like you ignoring them for years and years.

The reason is normally more shallow or spur of the moment. In short, dude or dudette has issues they need to work on. Issues don’t go POOF and never bother you again. They take years to get worked out. And if you stay with said person with issues for years, even if they’re getting their issues worked out? They’ll most likely cheat on you again.

Now, even if you are the couple where the cheater finds solace in another’s arms because their partner has ignored them into alienation and/or neglect? What kind of loving person could ignore you for years, putting you and your feelings and needs aside?  Do they really love you that much? Do they care? I don’t think so.

 

THREE

You will always wonder. If you stay with someone who has cheated on you once, there will always be that sense of foreboding or wonder. Will they do it again? There cannot be trust in a relationship if you’re wondering why your spouse is home late. And this normally leads to a negative, bitter hatred of self and your partner.

 

FOUR

You’re afraid. Leaving is hard. You’ve spent a lot of time on this person, on this relationship. You’d have to start over. Maybe a new job, new house. With no one there to support you. It will be a lot of hard work, a lot of unknown. Where will your life go? What will you do?

 

FIVE

If you have children, you’re teaching them that cheating is acceptable if you stay. And that opens a whole ball of wax you don’t want to touch. Like, who will your children grow up to be, believing it is all right to cheat on the person you say you love? And if you think they don’t know – you’re insulting them.

 

SIX

If you stay with a cheater, you will constantly wonder about your self worth and your decision making skills. Second guessing yourself because there is no harmony or trust. You have no solid ground.

 

SEVEN

You have to convince yourself you’re not a failure. And that’s hard. Failure isn’t failure in this case. You believe leaving your relationship, giving up on it, is bailing or ditching, or failing. It is not. Staying with someone who doesn’t treat your with respect is failure. Settling with what you have, is failure.

 

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This person made the choice to cheat. It wasn’t an accident. Not oops or sorry. It wasn’t something they were forced into.

They made the decision to cheat on you.

Knowing it would hurt you.

Honestly, if you stay – it doesn’t make any sense. If this person will hurt you on purpose, you’re not in a relationship. And it certainly isn’t love, real love.

This person will not respect, honor or sacrifice for you.

 

Don’t settle. Consider your value, your self worth, self respect. What do you want? Do you honestly want what you have? Take a look at your life, at your relationship, a good hard look. And answer that. Truly.

You deserve better. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

 

Look at it this way. If your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé,etc truly loved you, they wouldn’t cheat on you. Love is selfless. Instant gratification isn’t on the list.

I asked my family what they would do if someone cheated on them and I had an instant uproar of painful sounding revenge, and once we got serious, they all brought up valid points. I’m going to use “he” to keep things simple. This was their serious, non cutting body parts (*cough cough* Holly) answer:

“He made a promise to me that I was the one he wanted, he was going to love me forever. So if he cheats on me, he doesn’t deserve me.”

 

This discussion always bodes the question:

How can you stop being someone who you have loved for so long?

Better question:

How can you stay with someone who doesn’t truly love you?

 

So, answer me this…

Would you stay with a cheater?

Why or why not?

 

 

*note: this post was not written to put anyone down or trash anyone who has stayed with a cheater. This is simply me telling you, that in my opinion, you deserve all the happiness possible. Please keep in mind that I do not think anyone who has stayed with a cheater is a moron. It is your choice.*

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